Alternate Path: For wives of Gay or Bi men

This is a group for women seeking help with finding alternative solutions to divorcing their Bi/Gay husband. We want to provide positive discussions that will help the wives adjust to the news that their husband is gay/bi. Please use common sense when applying for membership to our group, if you want your identity kept private, use an alternate ID at the time you apply for membership. Use this same precaution when posting details to the group that you do not want to have known by your spouse or anyone else, as we cannot guarentee complete privacy.

To apply for membership, go to the Alternate Path Yahoo Group and click “Join”. Instructions for joining will be sent to you.

HOW: Husbands Out to their Wives

HOW is an international on-line support group for gay and bisexual men who are married to women and are out to (or working toward coming out to) our wives.  Our mission is to support each other as we try to find our individual paths to happiness. HOW members help each other as we redefine our relationships with our spouses, family members, friends, colleagues, even as we may be learning to understand our own real selves.

We do not give advice, rather relate through personal experiences, the ways in which we have handled our own lives. We advocate neither divorce nor separation, but we never fail to realize the fact that in human emotions, that status (divorce) may be inevitable for some.  We request that those who have gone through divorce remain on the list for the support and understanding they can offer – both the positives and the negatives of their experiences.

Our subjects or “threads” vary from discussions of our sexuality, our relationship to our wives and children, the process of coming out to our children, the sharing of humor (it is needed to break the depression that too often results), spiritual discussions, book or movie reviews or discussions, men’s health and sex issues, and anything that helps us to support one another.

We demand civility and a humanistic approach in all we say.  While the group is un-moderated, administrators and a Governing Board of long-standing members monitor the discussions.

HOW is an email list, it is not a website for browsing.  With an email list, posts made to the list are sent as emails to your registered address.  When you wish to post, it’s done as an email to the host server, which then re-sends your post to the entire list.  Prospective members should be aware that this can be a very intensive email list.  Over the history of the list, we average 30 posts a day coming through the server.

If you decide to join, you should have your HOW posts sent to an email address that is only yours, password protected and not accessible by others in the household, etc.  Also, due to ongoing message reject issues with Yahoo, we ask that you not use a Yahoo email account for this.

If you meet our qualifications (gay/bi- married man who is out to, or committed to come out to his wife) and are interested in joining HOW, send a note to using your confidential email address for further details about the group and instructions for joining.

HUGS: for couples in a MOM

HUGS is an acronym for Hope-Understanding-Growth-Support

HUGS_Couples is a list for couples of mixed sexual orientation who are working to keep their relationship strong and growing. It provides a positive environment where these couples can EXPRESS their concerns, SHARE their successes, and GIVE and RECEIVE support and encouragement. The requirements for joining are:
1. The couple is of mixed sexual orientation; that is, one or both partners is g/l/b.
2. The couple is interested in and working on maintaining their relationship.
3. The couple desires to receive and give support in a POSITIVE way with other MSO couples.
4. Since the list is for couples, both partners must join.

Email: to join.

MMOMW: Making Mixed Orientation Marriages Work

This group has been created for those who are in mixed orientation marriages. Straight spouses who are married to gays or bisexuals and also the married gays and bisexuals themselves. THIS IS A SUPPORT GROUP ONLY. A place where we can get together and discuss ways we make our marriages work in a positive way. We welcome all those in this situation no matter how you have decided to deal with this within your own marriage. Some have open marriages, some spouses have special friends, some couples have successfully added a third or are trying to do so, some just play together and others are maintaining a monogamous marriage. We all deal with this in different ways and this group was created for all of us to come and discuss these ways.


MonMOM: Monogamous Mixed Orientation Marriages

Monogamous Mixed Orientation Marriages (MonMOM) is a Yahoo-based support group for either or both members of a mixed orientation marriage or relationship working to remain monogamous. “Mixed orientation” means that the sexual orientations of the two persons involved do not match. This includes any combination of GLBTQS persons (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, questioning, straight). “Monogamous” means that the partners are sexually exclusive with each other. All are encouraged to request admission to our group.

Mismatched orientations can be difficult to manage, especially in a monogamous relationship. Our group exists so that all kinds of people in monogamous mixed orientation situations can share their experiences with each other, receive input from others, and participate in a positive and supportive community.


MMTL: Men Married to Lesbians

Membership is restricted to men who are married (in the past, present or considering in the future) to a lesbian or bisexual woman. There is also an expectation that you are seeking help in coping with the challenges of being in a Mixed Orientation Marriage (MOM) and that you desire to have a more positive relationship with your spouse.

MMTL is intended to be a supportive environment in which men are free to express their hurt, anger, and confusion. Our goal is to facilitate a process of emotional healing through sharing of knowledge, strength and hope. We share our stories – good and bad, staying together or not – with each other because it helps to write about our own experiences and to read others’.

If you have no desire to work on improving the relationship (apart or together) then MMTL is not the appropriate group to join. The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) lists several other groups that you may find more helpful.

The Gay Christian Website

This website has online community forums that you can join. One of the forums is for MOM’s.